Little girls should have big dreams. Always. Because all women are made up of little girls guiding them along the path they always wanted to walk on.
⁃ Notes for my daughter
Tag: writing
The Butterfly
Honey, you are like the butterfly
Air, light and grace
Hold your spirit high and free
Your color runs if you are held
If you see
If you notice the eyes seeking the flowers, the sun, the night sky
If you notice the constant longing for fresh air
If you see the way I get lost in nature, in stories and in everything else that carries me away
If you see through me to me, with all my intricacies
You see me, and you have me.
NTS 3.6.20
And when you love me,
I hope you love me for the chaos of my mind
and not just the canvas of my face.
Beacons
Everything seems well and good.
Until you remember,
you have always held your body as a beacon heralding harm
And darkness resides in corners you don’t know,
waiting to creep up into your heart
And your heart, it’s an iron walled cage
with a gentle, sensitive soul.
It hurts and it hurts so it twines iron around itself,
holding you in, holding you close.
#NTS 17.4.20
Context:
My brain’s been doing some heavyweight thinking lately and this stream of thought entered my mind.
I remember a particular session with my therapist – we had discussed how some of the beliefs I had about myself would take time to go because they had been sedimenting for years.
I had spent the past 20 years of my life forming certain habits and certain thought patterns that did not benefit me, that did not help my sense of self-worth and that were dependent on my experiences of abuse as a kid.
I remember making a promise to myself then – that the first 20 years of my life hadn’t been influenced a lot by my choice. But I did plan to make sure that the next 20 years would be year filled with love and growth for me. I wanted to undo the influence my abusers had on me – to reteach myself that I deserved love.
I have been working on it, though progress is tough. Here is a thought from a couple of days back –
You have always believed in telling other people to love themselves, to respect themselves as they are.
I want you to think about yourself like that. Think for a moment about your hurt, what you carry. Think about what you promised yourself, for the next 20 years of your life.
Theres a part of you, you understand now. A part that is healing and needs love – reach out to it.
You are enough. As you are now. In this moment, with your beginning, with your hurt, with your dreams and wishes and your happiness. You are enough.
You dont have to be more for anyone. You dont have to conform to fit into somebody’s space for love. You will find somebody you connect with, and they will love you as you are. And you will learn to form the spaces in between each other.
Hang in there.
Midnight Musings (13.3.20)
There is no easy fix for helping someone you love heal from their pain. That is a journey they have to take themselves. And the more they learn to walk on their path, the stronger they will be.
If you want to help, talk to them. Ask them what helps them as they learn how to heal. Ask them what their biggest fear is, see if you can offer them words that offer them relief. Be present, if they need a shoulder to lean on. Understand that it isn’t going to be an easy process, and know that your presence makes a great difference anyway.
#NTS
Bell JAr
Like a butterfly
A medley of colors
A delicate twine of body and spirit
A gossamer dream, soft and dusty
Beneath the sky of a bell jar
Inspired by Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar
Little Girl
Little girl, little girl, little girl,
you have cleansed your soul on the altars
of love, faith, duty and despair.
Why is your soul still empty?
Stagnant
The hours rush by
And day turns to night
And night turns into day
And we exist
In a muddle of crowds, aspirations and emotions
Craving for a change
⠀⠀
For time to still
For the day to dawn
For the storms to pass by
